The Secret to Serenity:

“Look at them, Smithers. Goldbrickers… Layabouts… Slug-a-beds! Little do they realize their days of suckling at my teat are numbered.” -Monty Burns, The Simpsons

Quoting from an animated series, no matter how successful the run, would probably seem juvenile to many people. Now that The Simpsons movie has grossed $132,029,148 as of today, juvenile doesn’t seem half bad, now does it?

Mr. Burns, the owner of Springfield’s nuclear power plant, is complaining in the above quote the laziness of his workers. His frail, corrupt, little form stands as a monument against mediocrity.

I was thinking about the “M” word this week. I was going to post about “winning attitudes” and the sort, but honestly, it all sounded too cliche and saccharine to bear. Most people know by now that their thoughts dictate their behaviors which lead to their situations. Enough said.

Back to the big M. Mediocrity. Procrastination. Corner Cutting. All spawn of the same condition: Laziness.

During my college commencement ceremony, the valedictorian gave a speech about excellence. While the speech itself was contrived and peppered with predictable quotes (like most of the sort), I probably should have paid more attention.

Since I was a child, my work ethic could be described as lofty ambition with a touch of half-ass. Whether it was a 7th grade cardboard rendition of the Spanish missions or my literature review on the correlation between autism and thimerosal in children’s vaccinations for Statistics 301, I never really gave 100 percent.

Hell, I didn’t even give 60 percent. 50, on a good day.

And I still did well. My teachers would always make some comment about paying closer attention to formatting or instructions, or they’d scribble a comment about “unused potential,” but it didn’t matter to me. I still made A’s and B’s. In college, I even developed a formula (composed of Red Bull and Skittles) that allows crammed study material to enter one’s long-term memory (patent pending).

Fast forward to real life.

Last week I was preparing to submit a script of mine to a producer. This wasn’t just any submission. I was submitting a script of a TV show to the producer of said show. I knew it was a big deal.

The comedic script was pretty good. Everyone who read it laughed, or LOL-ed, if you’re under 30. But deep down inside, I knew that I’d cranked it out in my typical fashion. While it wasn’t a first draft, I knew it wasn’t tight. It wasn’t fine quality. It wasn’t the best I could do.

In that moment I confronted the mediocrity that I’d let rule for so many years and said simply, “Sorry, you’ve got to go. The stakes are too high.”

We’re not talking gold stars or pats on the back from professors anymore. This is my career. I knew it was time to care.

I spent the next 72 hours analyzing scripts of the show surrounded by the scripts of the show I had in my posession. I made outlines. I counted jokes, scenes and transitions. I wrote, deleted and rewrote.

It reminded me of how I feel when I’m in the dead center of a grueling spinning class; silently cursing the peppy little waif instructor and hoping she chokes on her headset.

And just as every exercise class must dismiss, I was done. In front of me was a completed project that I could be proud of. Probably not perfect, but it was good.

Yesterday I spent an hour on the phone with an award-winning screenwriter who’d read my work. He told me how to improve and none of his tips included anything “speedy.” He emailed me a few of the scripts he’d been working on and as I read them I thought, “So this is quality. I can do this.”

It took 24 years, but I finally realized that I’m not above the work. It’s possible to get a 4.0 and even a good education in college without breaking a sweat. I did it. Life is different. There are times when being a quick study pays off well and times it does not at all.

That is one of the reasons that I’ll only do what I passionate about. If I’m going to put in blood and tears, it has to be for love.

“The only difference between where you are right now, and where you’ll be next year at this same time, are the people you meet and the books you read.� — Charlie “Tremendous� Jones, author of Life is Tremendous

Networking is one of those buzz words that means different things to different people. For some, it means packing into a mid-level hotel banquet room over Evian and crackers and for others it means typing feverishly on message boards (being sure to always use the correct emoticons).  I’ve even met people who gauge their networking abilities by how many business cards they’ve passed out in a week.

The terms is probably astutely defined in a dictionary out there, but I have my own definition.

I’m networking when I’ve given someone who has the power to assist me with my goals, the desire to do so. Simple.

My short and sweet definition has saved me time and energy. I used to wholeheartedly believe that networking was when I made a connection with anyone; meeting, greeting, and getting my name (or my businesses name) out there.

Now I put my interactions into three categories:

1. Networking: Connecting for the purpose of establishing a symbiotic relationship that helps me reach a goal

2. Support Team: Connecting with individuals with similar goals for the purpose of mutual support and cheerleading

3. Intimate Network: Friends and Family

The problem with not knowing what category you’re in or should be at any given time, is that you’re not meeting the people that can make the difference between your career/business accelerating or stagnating. My mistake was that I thought I was networking when I was really making friends with people who didn’t have the resources or connections I needed.

Making friends is fun, and I make time to nurture relationships that are valuable to me, but effective networking can make or break your business.

If you haven’t read Jeffery Gitomer’s Little Black Book of Connections, get it on Amazon today. He breaks down networking to a “T”.

This year has been a big one for me in terms of making connections. One thing that I’ve learned through trial and error is that in any situation, when asked the age old question, “What do you do,” take four words to explain where you are now, and six to explain where you want to be.

People can only help you reach your goals if they know what they are. As fabulous as applause feels for where you are, think of the future when connecting.

Last month I was talking to someone asked me about my business. Instead of going into detail about the sale of a couple of them, I told them about my new focus: my writing career. Well, people know people who know people and in less than a week I had a literary agent. That is networking.

Before I attend any event I evaluate the purpose. Going to a mixer for the sake of mixing and chatting, isn’t a good use of my time. That’s what movie night with the girlfriends is for.

If there is one thing that I know, having a packed schedule and being busy is not an indicator of productivity and upward movement. You can break a sweat from digging trenches just as fast as from making true strides. Leave the trenches behind!

Paris Hilton was released today. Phew! I’m relieved. Now I can go on living. I’m so glad that Michael Moore was bumped from CNN so that she could speak to America about her ordeal. I mean, the rapidly collapsing health care system can wait. I need to hear Paris.

In all seriousness, the last 24 days the heiress has been in jail have truly changed how I do business.

Last night I got an email from a business associate asking me about a press release I sent out awhile back. I used to have regular releases sent out putting an interesting spin on every move my business made. My goal was to get press, and it worked. Every now and then a magazine or online publication emails me asking for a quote and of course I happily comply.

The highest form of press right now is Oprah. Oooh! Now if I go on Oprah, that will really mean I’m big, right? Wrong.

It wasn’t after Ms. Hilton began to appear regularly on the nightly news (right in between war updates and fire warnings) that I began to ask myself, “When did being famous become a reason for being famous?” which led to “Why do I want press?”

I sat and thought. I couldn’t come up with a reason so I reviewed my one-year, five-year, and ten-year plans. No dice. I went over my business and personal purpose statements to find clues. Still nada.

Nothing in my plans are dependent or even helped by media coverage. My real estate portfolio, my business financials…neither of those seem to care how many people know about them. I recently leased out two of my ventures, but even when I still operated them I noticed that press coverage led to a large wave of new people. The people only stuck around whenI had something truly of value to offer them.

I came to the conclusion that I’ve been indoctrinated into thinking that being noticed equals success. It has been easy for me to “play business” because journalists never know what questions to really ask. Revenue? Sure I can tell you that and you’ll be impressed by what a 24-year old can do. Accolades? I’ll tell you that too. But what would a serious, seasoned entrepreneur ask of me to really know where my business stood. They’d want to see my assets, my debt, my liabilities, my future projections, my payroll, my financial records…yikes.

I’ve been too easily flattered. It’s easy to get applause when you’re in front of the wrong audience.

This week I made a decision to not play around anymore. My goals have changed. My audience has really changed. When I want to know if I’m doing a good job in my business I’m not going to comfort myself with an empty list of press mentions. I now imagine showing the core of my ventures to a panel who could ask me the hard questions. What Would Michael Gerber say? or WWMGS?

While meeting Oprah personally would be great, being on her show is no longer on my list right now. When I’m 35, retired (that’s the plan folks) and have benefitted the world through my endeavors…then I’ll go. I’ll go to inspire someone to do the same.

While I don’t think there is anything wrong with press mentions regarding my biz, I’m not going to use them to gage my success. The Paris in me has left the building.

PS. In response to emails from readers who think it is impossible for someone to invest in California, New York, or anyone other relatively high priced market….then start somewhere else! Long before my husband and I could buy a house in California we were able to find real estate in more reasonable markets. Plus, investing doesn’t always mean outright buying of a property. You can “bird dog” (find properties for investors and get paid a fee) or look into assignments (getting a property under contract and finding a buyer). Find someone in your area who is on the path you want to be on and ask for help. Go to the library. Talk to agents, brokers, and loan officers.

I used to live somewhat haphazardly. I’d have a vague To Do list in my mind, but mostly I’d take care of whichever problem could scream the loudest. If my inbox was full, I’d go through it. If my phone rang, I’d pick it up. If my accountant needed a statement, I’d draft it right away.

The work that I had set out to do was always subject to a plethora of dotted interruptions, usually meaning that it was rolled over to the next day…and the next day…and the next.

If you’d asked me who was in charge of my day, I would have answered, “Me! I’m self-employed after all,” but that would have been a lie. In reality, a flighty little fairy named Fate was ruling my life.

If Fate wanted my attention she’d just throw some paperwork in my face or sidetrack me with a minor crisis. If Fate was feeling bored, she’d tap me with her wand and pop a brilliant (but distracting) idea into my head and urge me to follow it.

It wasn’t until recently that I realized that Fate existed and that she was running the show. To counteract her powers, I enlisted the only being strong enough to withstand her: Focus.

Focus allows me to be the ruler of my day.

Every month, week, and morning, Focus and I sit down and plan a strategy for success in both our personal and professional lives.

During the day, when Fate tries to throw trivial paperwork and other delegate-able tasks our way (”Ooh the table looks dirty, maybe I should stop and clean it”) , Focus is unmoved. She has taught me that my energy is a precious and limited commodity. Before a job is undertaken, I ask myself, “Is this the highest and best use of my time at this moment?”

The battle between Focus and Fate is an ever ongoing one because we’re creative beings in a perpetually changing world.

Personal management is, in my opinion, one of the most under-taught, underdeveloped skills in our society and school system. The third habit in Stephen Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People is Putting First Things First.

When a person learns to organize their time to reflect their pre-established priorities instead of letting Fate (and her ugly cousin Whimsy) rule their day, amazing things happen. You’ll feel relaxed knowing that what needs to get done, get s done. You have more time to pursue your creative passions and quality time with family because you will have less self-induced emergencies and deadline crunches.

Life will take on the rhythm of flowing waters.

The first step to mitigating Fate’s hold on your schedule is to determine what you want to accomplish, short-term and long-term. What is important to you? What needs to happen in your personal and professional life? Then write it down. Fate hates when you write things down. You’re more inclined to remember them that way.

Of course, in life, not everything can be planned. Pipes will burst, children will get sick, and computers will crash. The quiet hours between the moments of true crisis are the ones that make the most impact in your life. Choose to let Focus rule.